Phantom Tollbooth

When Zion came home from preschool today I asked him if he had painted, played outside, done circle time, played with Valentina etc. (I learned months ago not to ask him what he did- too vague, and he'd just say, "nothing"). Usually this tactic elicits some information, but today he said, "No" to everything I asked.

"What did you have for snack?", I asked, feeling clever.

"No.", said Zion.

"No? What's "no"? I don't think I've ever had that before! Is it yummy?"

Zion got a coy, interested look on his face, but was distracted by his sister and I dropped the conversation.

Tonight before dinner he was playing at being a little polar bear and invited me to come pick up my vegetables from the CSA the polar bear was running.

"OK", I said. "Hello little polar bear! What vegetables do you have for me today?"

"Um, today I have...no", Zion said, looking at my slyly.

"No, huh? I've never tried no. How do I know which are the good ones?"

"The white ones are good", he replied confidently.

So I picked out some white nos. "Now", I said, "How do I eat them? Raw, or cooked?"

"Cooked", said Zion.

"So, how do I cook them?"

"Um, you have to peel them. Because they have peels on them! And then you chop them up (chopping hand motions)!"

"Ah, alright. But do I roast them, like cauliflower? Or sautee them?"

"You do not roast them. You put some oil in a pan and then you fry them up, like zucchini", he said enthusastically.

"Well, thank you, little polar bear! Do you have any other vegetables for me today?", I asked.

Zion nodded. "Yeah. I have...yes!"

The best yeses, it turns out, are black, and they too need to be peeled. However, you eat them raw. They are particularly good grated and tossed with salad.

I was totally charmed by both his cooking advice and his very first real word play. And it so reminded me of The Phantom Tollbooth! Eating your words in Dictionopolis, anyone? (For the record I was always pretty jealous of that bit. I totally wanted to be able to say what I'd like to eat and have it appear. And by "wanted" I mean "want, still, very much, right now". Of course.)

The Parsnip Affair

Last month our winter CSA gave us apples, mixed lettuce, carrots, beets, butternut squash, onions, potatoes and parsnips. We didn't exactly get to the parsnips. As a vegetable they just don't do a lot for me, you know? And I do the cooking around here, so...

This month our CSA gave us apples, mixed cooking greens, carrots, beets, buttercup squash, onions, arugala, and...parsnips. Damn! We still have the first batch of parsnips storing happily away in the fridge! So tonight I took the bull by the horns and looked up parsnip recipes. After sifting through about 30 variants on parsnip/apple soup (bisque, stew, chowder etc) I found this gem. Parsnip Cake? O rly???

So as not to be totally unhealthy in my parsnip adventures I cooked some up in the beef stew I made tonight, too. Then I turned my attention the cake. As I was grating the parsnips I noticed an odd, familiar smell. I firmly turned my nose away. As I ate the stew I tasted an odd, familiar taste. My inner monologue assured me that in the cake parsnips would be different. As soon as it was cool enough to eat I cut some to taste and see if I should even bother frosting it. I could still taste it. But faintly, so I had Robert taste, without telling him why. He said it was OK with him, as far as cake went. So I frosted it. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right.

On the phone with Kenny tonight I approached the question.

Me: So, um, have you ever cooked parsnips yourself before?

Kenny: Yeah, actually, I just cooked some like 2 days ago.

Me: They look like long white carrots, right? That's a parsnip, right?

K: Yes. They're really fat at one end and have a very dramatic taper.

M: Yeah, that's what I have. What do they taste like?

K: They're kind of like a cross between a carrot and a sweet potato. Sweet and starchy. They're really almost too sweet for me.

M (anxiously): So, not at all like...celariac?

K: No. Not like celariac. Why?

M: Um, mine taste like celariac. In the stew I cooked them in tonight they tasted just like celaraic. What the hell do I have? Can celeriac look like chubby skinny white carrot??

K: No. I don't think so.

M: Crap. I cooked a parsnip cake, too. I think it would be better if the things I have tasted like what you're describing.