Another sweater

I think I went all of February without finishing and entire project! Crazy. Of course, I've long known that hot weather makes me much less inclined to knit. I do have two partially done projects from February, and another that I finished weeks ago, but only just got pictures of this morning.

This sweater was a test knit, meaning that someone came up with the design, did the maths to make it fit different sizes, wrote it all up, and then asked for volunteer test knitters to make sure the numbers were correct, the instructions were clear, and the finished product fit. It was a fun knit, and constructed in a way I don't usually make my sweaters, so that was definitely entertaining! And I like the kind of 80s dropped shoulder look.

I'm wearing it here with churidars-- a type of Indian pants that are very, very long, very closely fitted below the knee, and then quite loose in the hips/waist. They're meant to be worn with a long tunic type shirt (a kurta, for instance), and not something this short. All of which is my way of drawing attention to them, and then asking you to please not pay attention to them ;) Because they're so narrow in the lower leg they're a bit of a hassle to get on and off and I was feeling lazy this morning!

Surprise

Yesterday I took my saree back to the Ladies Tailor to get the blouse made. The madam was in, and she measured me up, stopping to ask several questions that I had to pause and think about (short sleeves, or 3/4 sleeves? low dip in the back, or no dip?), much to her amusement. 

The general surprise the women in the shop had at my blouse ignorance got me thinking about how common surprise is in my life here. I expected it to be common for me to be surprised, since I'm living in a whole new culture and place, but I hadn't anticipated how often I would surprise people. In retrospect that was pretty clueless of me!

So now, in no particular order, I give you a list of things that have surprised Indians-- friends, acquaintances, professionals-- that I've interacted with in the past 5 days. 

1. I don't (yet) own a single saree blouse, and never have.

2. The US has no federally mandated paid maternity leave.

3. Breastfeeding in public is often frowned up in the US.

4. Breastfeeding a toddler is often frowned upon in the US-- in public or not.

5. I don't eat pizza and burgers every day in the US.

6. Elementary school aged children don't usually walk around town on their own in the US.

7. For most Americans, buses are not a regular, reliable, or useful form of transportation.

8. Robert, Zion, Liel and I live all alone in the US, without our extended family.

9. American parents don't usually tell their children what career they must pursue when they grow up.

10. It is possible to live in the US for years, and never be cheated in a business transaction, let alone regularly cheated (Note: this one was something I was asked to confirm by an Indian friend who had been told this was the case by a friend of his who had lived in the US for a while). 

11. American teenagers can have boyfriends/girlfriends.

12. American teenagers are unlikely to marry their boyfriends/girlfriends, and this is perfectly acceptable.

13. Packaged foods in the US are not all labeled as either veg or non-veg. 

14. Lots of Americans who are eligible to vote do not do so. 

What I find particularly interesting about this list is how wide ranging it is, covering topics from food, to clothing, to families, parenting, sex, transportation and politics. I'm learning so much here!

A Friday in Bangalore, with lots learned.

Yesterday morning Robert left the apartment early and went to the bank. He's learned that if you get there right when they open, the wait is much shorter (go figure). The kids and I planned to meet him for an early lunch of dosa, because we've also learned that at Prakruthi, at least, they don't stop serving dosa until noon.

The kids and I also left the apartment earlier than we might've normally done, because I wanted to stop by a shop next to Prakruthi called simply, "Ladies Tailor". I was hoping they would be able to make me a blouse to go with my new cotton saree (if you aren't on Facebook I'll summarize by saying: bought a lovely plain cotton saree for everyday use, assuming I can learn to drape it in a way that won't embarrass the crap out of me in public. So far I've draped it twice, and while neither attempt was truly awful neither was anything to write home about either). The very fact that I now know where a saree blouse comes from (the tailor) is big, in my mind...it's another thing I learned! I thought they came with the saree when you bought it.

Anyway, Robert was already at Prakruthi, so Zion joined him and Liel and I went into the tailors. I handed my rolled up saree to the very nice woman there, and explained that I needed a blouse.

"What measurement?", she asked me.

"I don't know", I said.

She looked perplexed, and tried again. "Size?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, I don't know".

"Measurements?" She mimed a measuring tape. I thought she wanted to measure me, and was relieved.

"OK!"

We looked at each other. "Um, do you want to measure me now?", I asked.

She sighed and said patiently, "What measurement for blouse?"

"I'm sorry", I said, "but I don't know. I've never done this before".

A lightbulb went off in her head. A shocking lightbulb.

"Never??", she said, staring at me. "No blouse??"

"No", I said, pleased that we were clearly getting somewhere.

"How soon do you want?", she asked.

"I'm not in a hurry."

"OK. Come back Monday. Madam here then", she said and then looked more closely at my saree. "Very big!" Then she held the width of the saree up to me, at waist height, and appeared satisfied. And, amazingly, she began to fold my poor, crumpled saree.

"Oh, that's OK!", I said, "You don't need to do that, here..." I reached out for it.

She smiled and shook her head at me and, just holding my saree in the air had it neatly and evenly folded in under 30 seconds. "Come Monday. Madam will help then", she said, handing it back to me with a rather bemused smile.

I thanked her and left, making a mental note that I must not unfold the saree between then and Monday, no matter how tempting trying to wrap it might be.

At lunch Robert reported that  he had bought coffee tickets. It turns out that you can buy a booklet of twenty coffee tickets, which you can just hand over for coffee, instead of standing in one line to pay for coffee and one line to collect it every time you'd like a cup. We'd noticed that our friend Tiju had tickets and never had to stand in the pay line and finally asked about them. And another piece of the "life in Bangalore" puzzle fell into place.

After we ate we planned to do a few errands in the neighborhood, and decided to go out a different gate, thinking it would save us some time. That, it turned out, was wildly incorrect. Our shortcut was at least 3 times longer than the regular way, and maybe more. We spent about an hour walking through Mathikere, a neighborhood that borders one side of IISc, and which we knew barely at all, having only been in one teeny part of it before.

The walk was really interesting for a number of reasons. First of all, Mathikere, while not nearly as pretty as Malleswaram, had a kind of run down charm. Emphasis on "run down", as there were quite a number of derelict buildings and empty lots, and very little construction going on. That was surprising, as most of Bangalore is a city that is growing and expanding, and construction is ubiquitous all over town. People in Mathikere stared at us a lot more than people have in other parts of the city as well.

The best part though was that after nearly an hour walking in 93 degree heat, through a neighborhood with few/poor sidewalks, almost no trees, tons of traffic (bus, auto, car, bike, and pedestrian), noise, and  trash, none of us felt exhausted or oppressed by it all. Remember back when we first got here, and I wrote that after a walk to a grocery store the kids had their hands over their ears to try to block out the noise, and were completely overwhelmed by everything? Well, yesterday we walked 2-3 times further along a route that had more of everything, and they were totally fine. Not one complaint out of either of them. Liel didn't even blink when an auto nearly ran over her foot! Of course that might have been because she didn't actually notice, but I sure as hell did! I gasped and shouted for her to walk more on the shoulder of the road. But my heart only beat fast for a few seconds, and then, even though the traffic was just as heavy and there still wasn't a sidewalk we could use, we just kept walking. And I didn't even feel nervous that either of my kids might be run over!

Finally we arrived where we wanted to be (and that was a bit of a triumph too...all Robert's. He was sure he could navigate us where we wanted to be, even when it became apparent that the roads were not behaving as we'd thought they would, and he was right!), and I took Zion shopping for some new kurtas for his birthday while Robert attempted to buy groceries. He went to two different stores, and found them both closed, so he gave up and went home. Then the kids and I popped into a sweet shop across the way and picked out a few things for after dinner, and walked back home to meet him.

As Robert said, "You finally figure out how to live in a place, and then it's time to leave!"

Gangama temple, Malleswaram

Today we visited a third temple in our favorite Bangalore neighborhood: the Gangama temple in Malleswaram. Gangama means "Mother Ganges" and the temple is dedicated to the goddess of this all-important river in India.

We were in luck today-- the first auto driver we approached (and the only waiting at the bus stand) agreed to take us. He wasn't entirely sure where the temple was, but he headed to Malleswaram and asked a couple of other auto drivers and got us there just fine. Often auto drivers, for their own inscrutable reasons, will say no when they learn where you want to go. The other day Liel, our friend Bitasta and I went shopping in Malleswaram and had at least half a dozen autos just shake their heads at us and keep going when they heard "Malleswaram". I'm not sure why-- they were all headed in that direction-- but perhaps they thought it was too close and wasn't a worthwhile trip.

Here is the Gangama temple. Isn't it beautiful??

The inside was gorgeous as well. Pictures aren't allowed in the main shrine, but the caretaker said that we could take pictures elsewhere, so we did.

That's Gangama behind Zion, and Ganesh in the cage to her left.

There was also a side room with an elaborate brass chariot containing another image of the goddess.

Outside the temple were two more chariots-- really big ones. At least one of them was advertising for an upcoming ceremony.

After our temple visit we stopped into the old market to buy some coconuts. We ended up buying a pineapple as well, with some haggling. After we'd agreed on a price they tried to put a different (smaller) pineapple in a bag for us to actually buy, and seemed mighty amused when I refused it and insisted on the one I'd been bargaining for. Hopefully I didn't buy a super crappy pineapple!

On the way home from the market we passed a hijra (also referred to as a person of the third gender) on the street. Liel and I were a little bit ahead of Robert and Zion at that point, and s/he blessed us and asked for money. I didn't have any, but pointed to Robert, so the hijra blessed them too, and Robert paid him/her (hijras, like transgendered people the world over, face extreme discrimination. They are usually un(der) educated, and that, in addition to the general prejudice they face, makes it very difficult for them to find regular employment. One way that they support themselves is through begging; another is through attending and performing at certain religious rituals, as they are understood to have the power to bestow both blessings and curses. So our encounter today encompassed parts of both of these roles).

I've known about hijras for some time, but this was my first actual encounter with one. I'm having a hard time describing the event without sounding like this person was some kind of circus attraction, so I'll just say that it was really interesting!

The global holiday village

Have you ever wondered how a Jewish family living in India might get matzo for Passover?

Of course you have. Silly question.

Well, I can't speak for all of us, but this Jewish family is having their matzo brought to them by an Austrian Catholic who lives in the UK and teaches religion at a university there. He also happens to be one of Robert's best friends, a foodie, and an all around great guy who is coming to visit us here in Bangalore right before the holiday. He'll actually be here for the first night seder too!

But really: an Austrian Catholic living in the UK is bringing Pesach matzo to American Jews living in India. What an amazing, gorgeous world we live in.

PS He is also bringing wine! Wine and matzo!

Vexing Sunday

We had a rather awkward Sunday today. In fact, it was the most vexing Sunday we've had since our second week here in India, when we all had the flu. Compared that, of course, today was cake and I have absolutely no business complaining. But of course that day is in the past and today is still today, so I will complain. But just a little.

First off, we were waiting for two deliveries this morning. One was a somewhat unexpected delivery from Flipkart (sort of like Amazon in India). It was somewhat unexpected because Robert had ordered the books, but we didn't know they'd be delivered today.

Side note: yesterday, while we were having lunch with some friends, the Flipkart delivery guy, who has delivered to us so often that he waves when he sees us out and about in the neighborhood (no, I don't want to think about how much our luggage is going to weigh, why do you ask?), called to say that he was trying to deliver a book to us, and we weren't home. This was another somewhat unexpected delivery, as we hadn't even been notified by Flipkart that he was on his way. Robert directed him to our friends' apartment, though and all was well (except that we had to borrow Rs. 2 from our friend to pay the guy because we didn't know he was delivering to us!).

Anyway, the Flipkart delivery went off without a hitch. The trouble was with my BigBakset order. I'd scheduled it to be delivered between 10am and 1230pm, and they've never been late before. I was sure that would give us plenty of time to have our customary leisurely Sunday lunch at Prakruthi before returning home for a quick afternoon meeting with our jeweler.

The hours ticked by. I got hungry, and then hungrier. At 1230pm my phone rang. It was the driver, and he was at the campus, he said, but couldn't find us. I tried to help, but the language barrier was too high, so I ran out to the lobby and asked the manager of our apartment building to help. She spoke to him for a minute or two (I caught the phrases, "IISc", "New BEL road", and "MS Ramaiah Hosptial" several times each) and then handed back the phone with a smile saying she'd given him our apartment number, but would send him on when he arrived.

Twenty minutes later he wasn't there, and I got a call from the driver again. He was still not sure which gate to use. I told him, and he hung up. A minute later BigBasket customer service called, telling me the driver couldn't figure out which gate to use. I told that guy too, and he assured me the driver would be there within 30 minutes.

To make a long story short, the driver apparently gave up at that point. After 4-5 more calls to and from BigBasket, they finally admitted that he wasn't coming and rescheduled the delivery for between 730-10pm. Since we'd  missed lunch time I cooked some rice and gave the kids that along with almond butter, pomegranate and watermelon.

After lunch I bathed Liel and then told Zion to take a shower. He'd been in there about 5 minutes when Liel ran into my room to tell me that there was "a big puddle of water outside the bathroom door". Confused, I went to look, and lo! there was a huge puddle of water seeping out from under the bathroom door, and it was rapidly spreading into the living rom. I threw open the bathroom door (remember, our bathrooms here are a single room with a toilet and a shower head, and found that it was totally flooded and not draining at all. I howled at Zion to turn the damn water off and Robert and I started throwing towels onto the floor (remember- we have no washer and dyer and hand washing towels is a bitch!). When we'd stemmed the tide Robert ran to the front desk to report to the manager that our bathroom had flooded.

A few minutes later a slightly confused looking maintenance guy rang our doorbell. He peered into the bathroom, left, and came back witha  squeegee, a plunger, and a few tools. Then he shut himself in the bathroom, and there was much banging and squelching. Ten minutes later he emerged, told us that it was all fixed, smiled, and left (after we'd tipped him for his prompt and salvific actions). The water was gone- at least in the bathroom. At that point the jeweler was due in 10 minutes, so we scrambled around sopping up the water in our living room and washing the towels. Really only Robert washed the towels, because he a laundry saint. With moments to spare I got the last of the puddles off the floor and collapsed.

And lucky we were that it was all sorted out by then, because our jeweler brought his 4 year old daughter and 16 year old cousin (who begged come along to meet us because we live in New York and he is a fan of some particular type of professional wrestling in which New York is doing well). It was an interesting visit actually. It was the third time we'd met with the jeweler (who is a lovely person) and the first time that he asked many questions about our life in New York. His questions included: were we veg in New York, or non veg? Did we eat at restaurants every day in New York? Is it true that in America parents don't tell their children what they must be when they grow up? Do Americans eat pizza and burgers every day? Then he asked for a picture of him with the four of us, which brings our number of family portraits with Indians up to two (and I asked him to send me a copy, of course)!

After that we left for an early dinner, so as to be back by 7pm. Our usual route through the forest, however, was totally blocked by a huge troop of monkeys. There must have been at least two dozen of them, and they were none to intimidated by the big stick Robert tried to use to disperse them. So we retreated and took a different route. I was carrying a tote back with water in it, and the local monkeys have show a fair bit of interest in anything we carry in bags. That plus the disease that we've been warned some of them carry was enough for us to decide that it was better to be safe than sorry. But really- no grocery delivery, flooded bathroom and living room, and now monkeys blocking the damn path??

Luckily dinner more than made up for the stresses of the rest of the day, and I can explain why in three words: paper masala dosa. Sadly, there are no pictures though. But it was truly delightful and I promise to take a picture of the next such event.

It was a damn good thing we left so early for dinner, too. We got home at 630pm and hadn't been home 2 minutes when the doorbell rang. It was our groceries. Happy they were there, and happy WE were there. Annoyingly, the chicken and mysore pak were both missing.  Happily the delivery guy came back half an hour later with the chicken, but the mysore pak was not to be had. The lazy in me is sad about this, but the foodie in me wonders if this will motivate us to start sampling the mysore pak at the local sweet shops. And I have no idea which side will win! Which makes it kind of exciting.

So that was my vexing Sunday. I'm rounding it off with a gin and tonic and some blissful silence while the kids sleep. 

Kerala, part 5- now with a houseboat!

The word on the street was that anyone spending time in Kerala should take a backwater cruise, preferably an overnight one (or longer) on a houseboat. Seriously, every time we told someone we were going to Kerala this was the advice we got! So we paid attention, and booked ourselves a night on a houseboat.

At our request the boating company arranged for a cab to pick us up from our hotel and deliver us to the boat. On the drive over we saw an elephant cruising along the side of the highway!

We saw another one later on, on a smaller road. It really is pretty amazing to see elephants just out and around, going about their day!

Around 11am we arrived at our home for the night.

We were an hour early, and I wasn't sure if we'd be allowed on, our would be hanging out on the bank with our luggage. I needn't have worried, though! They let us on the boat right away and gave us each a fresh coconut beverage. It was hot, and the drink was much appreciated!

Then we checked out the boat, and enjoyed the view.

Robert even had a go at the wheel.

And then we were off! We saw a cool shrine

and lots of beautiful back water scenery.

It was so relaxing and beautiful! We hung out on the deck, the kids wrote in their journal (though they'd  surely tell you that journal writing is NOT relaxing!)...

After an hour or so we docked for lunch. And man, what a lunch!

It was unbelievably delicious. All Keralan style food, which is full of coconut! Yummmmmm. We stayed docked for a bit after lunch while the crew cleaned up, and the kids ran around on the deck and played a game with spell scrolls they made.

Then boat got going again. We read Harry Potter, and saw more gorgeous bits of backwater Kerala.

There was a lovely sunset, which was accompanied by a friend banana and coffee snack.

And followed by a lovely dinner!

Now the downside of our houseboat extravaganza was the sleeping. We'd arranged to have an extra cot so that we'd have room for all of us. There wasn't one. The bed was also full size, not queen. But there wasn't much to be done at that point, so the kids and I squeezed into the bed, and Robert slept on the short couch. I should say "slept" because he didn't do much of it. Neither did I. The kids slept great however, and I guess that's really what matters!

The next morning we had an unremarkable breakfast, two cups of coffee, and were met at the dock by a taxi to take us to the airport. We got there in record time (our driver was the most aggressive we've yet had in India) and spent a dull 5 hours waiting for our flight home.

I gotta say, it was really nice to fly in to Bangalore. It felt like coming home, and I was happy to see the city, and especially our neighborhood, again.

Thus ended our Kerala adventure. It was magical and fantastic, up to and including the part where we returned to Bangalore. Which makes it pretty much the perfect trip :)