Sunday, January 10, 2010


Lately I've been having trouble falling back asleep. The first time is no problem, but if something wakes me up at night (as it has the past two nights) man, I'm up for an hour or two. And why am I awake? Why, because I can't fall asleep for the worrying! Worrying about work I need to do, worrying that I should be pushing academics on the kids (night time does strange things to my brain), and worrying about Liel's social life. See, Liel didn't really make friends during her year in preschool. Now she's socially ready to (I think) but the only kid she sees most days is her brother. I'm mostly to blame for this- I suck about arranging playdates. But I'm not entirely to blame...part of the reason I suck is because I get shot down probably 75% of the time when I try to set one up for her. Mostly it isn't personal (I hope!) but I hear "oh, we're busy this week, let's try for next week..." an awful lot. So I feel like a bit of a bother, since next week is always busy when we get there too, you know? Get knocked back enough and it sure starts to SEEM like maybe that mom just doesn't like me and I should give up.

But in the night two nights ago I had a rather sad realization. Zion wants to have a birthday party this year (it will be his first friend party. We offered last year but he said no). And that's lovely, and he has a number of friends who he'll want to invite and who will want to come. But that also means Liel will want a friend party this year. And Liel has 1, maybe 2 friends. I'm not kidding you, my eyes teared up thinking about how that might make her feel, and how I've kind of failed her in this way because I'm not trying hard enough to find other little girls for her play with.

So, I got back up and sent out 4 emails asking if daughters wanted to play with Liel this week. I've heard back from one, saying her daughter is away visiting grandparents, but we did make an actual plan for the week after (of course this is the one girl I can count as Liel's friend with as much certainty as is possible when counting friends for 4 year olds).

This is the most pathetic blog post I've ever made.

PS- success! Heard back from another mama and Liel has a playdate this week. Perhaps less pathetic now.


the main stitch upholstery said...

i am sorry, but you made me laugh. liel will be fine. she probably doesn't realize that she only has 1 or 2 friends. she probably just thinks its cool that she has friends. she probably thinks her brothers friends count as her friends for that matter. ian has only 2 friends and that is not because of lack of playdates, he is just not on the map of what "normal" is at that age and is not popular. ian has accepted this. owen and jule have lots of friends, but that has taken time to get to. just this year (jule is 8 and in 2nd grade) jule got invited to his first birthday party, and it wasn't for his friend, he was invited to tag along for one for owens friend. anyway, point being, you are worrying about something that will evolve on its own when they do go to school or join a group or club. they are going to be just fine. you are an awsome mama and robert is a good dad. your kids have no choice but to turn out awsome!!!! i hope you sleep better soon. bioidentical hormones helped me, but i am in full blown menopause so i don't think that is your same issue.

FliXxx said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Diamond said...

I am sorry if I interfer but I want to tell you what I'd do if I were on your shoes.

I'd meet new people with kids of the same age of my daughter. Introduce to her activities such as games which needs 5 or 6 players.

The kid will not make friends for now she will enjoy the game. And understand that she need other kids if she wanted to play the game again.

Kids will love it as they love to play the game too.

When the other kids are happy playing game. There parents will love that too. And they won't miss a meeting for there child happiness.

With time you end up you and your daughter having new friends.


Parents with kids
want to do it again
end up friends

PS: Parents can play too

Suze said...

I, too, completely SUCK at making playdates. Even with the folks ACROSS THE STREET, whose son is my son's best friend. (He's nearly 5, my son is nearly 4). I blame winter, frankly. We see friends all the time in the summer, but I turn into a hibernating bear once the snow comes.