Bathing Suits

Yesterday I did something I hadn't done in more than 5 years. I bought a bathing suit. Truth be told, I haven't worn a bathing suit in more than 5 years, either- before I got pregnant with Zion. I haven't been living in fear of The Bathing Suit, but between having a newborn, and then living in Ohio and New York beach and pool opportunities have been kinda thin on the ground, you know? But in a week we will be at a lodge in Vermont, and the lodge has two pools. And in August we will be in the Wisconsin lakes with kayaks and boats and, well, water. In the lake. So, it was clear I needed a bathing suit. (I did try my old one on. The top was too small and the elastic was shot. How the top can be too small is a mystery to me, but more on that later.)

But not just me! The kids don't have suits that fit them, either. And Robert? He's been wearing the same pair of black trunks since high school. And he's used them for painting a house. And the elastic in the waist is gone. Oh, and they are a size XL and he only has a 32" waist. So we were a family in need of water gear.

Since I was clearly going to try things- a lot of things- on, the task of shopping for everyone fell to me. So yesterday morning I went out. I'll sum up my two hours in the store by saying that I spent a fair amount of time in the mens, boys, and girls departments staring at bathing suit displays. In the end I brought home black and white trunks for Robert (too big, have to go back, and I got a size L, too!), a blue and white bikini for Liel (too big, has to go back. I thought about getting her a one piece but realized what a hassle this would make using the potty and changed my mind. Plus her cute belly can poke out this way!), and blue and white trunks with sharks for Zion (the fit, thank goodness. And he likes them, and is pleased that the sharks look happy). I ended up with black boy shorts that can be scrunched on the sides to look more like a regular bikini bottom. I've always felt that boy shorts just drew attention to the widest point on my body, so I was surprised that I liked these. But (and here's how you know I'm getting old)- they have coverage. Even in bikini form. So they won the prize for bottoms.

Tops were trickier. My boobs are more or less the same size they were before I had kids, but not the same shape (more's the pity). Stuff fits, but doesn't look as good. Ha. As if I'm smokin' the bikini! Anyway. I brought home two tops- one bikini top (trust me, my body looks weird in a one piece), and one tankini top. I still don't know which I prefer. Or which I don't prefer. Meh.

I read an article recently about how women size themselves up relative to other women and seek a mate who is more or less at their level. Men do not do this. They apparently lack whatever it is that allows them to gauge themselves relative to other men, and they seek the hottest girlie they can find, even if she wouldn't look twice at them.

It applies to bathing suits. Really.