That's what Zion has told me a couple of times in the past few days- that's he's nervous about going to India. When I ask him why he says that he's nervous to leave his home for so long, which is totally understandable. We talked about it a bit more tonight and both the kids got somewhat teary. They're nervous to leave the home, country, language, climate, food etc that they've known all their lives, and exchange it for...what, exactly? They don't know. I don't really know! So I can't really help them too much on that front. All I can do is assure them that such feelings are normal when facing the unknown, encourage them to talk, and tell them why I think this is such an amazing opportunity for our family.
And I'm a bit nervous too, truth be told. I'm nervous that I'll get eaten alive by mosquitoes, or worse, that the kids will (happily they haven't really shown my mosquito attracting habits, but you never know). I worry that we'll get sick. I worry that the air pollution will make us sick, and cause Robert and me to rely on our inhalers just to breathe. I worry that the noise and chaos will overwhelm us. I worry that day to day living will require all of my emotional energy. I worry that we'll arrive, and I'll have two hungry, thirsty children and I won't know where to buy them food or clean water. I worry that we'll be lonely.
But I'm also hopeful. I'm hopeful that we are going to have an amazing experience of a wholly different country and culture. I'm hopeful that we'll meet amazing people and see amazing things. I'm hopeful that day living will be exciting, that the mosquitoes will respect my bug spray, that any illness will be relatively mild, and that we will miss India when the time comes for us to leave.
I'm choosing the feed the hope. Not always the easiest thing to do, when my kids are tearful and my head is swimming with questions about the FRRO (foreigner regional registration office), about appropriate clothing for the heat (is a tank top with regular, not spaghetti straps ok?), about mosquito nets, about having our debit cards work (and not shut down for fraud when we use it overseas. Yes, I plan to call ahead and tell the bank. Based on friends' experiences I am not at all certain this will do anything in particular to help me), about lists, rupees, passport photos, visas, and a thousand other details.
Deep breaths. Hope.